Sometimes in life, you just gotta go for it! Been thinking about this particular season of transition in my life, as I have gone from being a moving and shaking businessman as a contractor, to becoming more and more obedient to the heavenly call in full time missions these past years, to now, carefully balancing construction as a part time superintendent, to staying aggressively in the face of God to maintain my place in the office and the call….
‘As the things of earth, grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace’ the song goes..
The years of brutally hard work, and then before that the grueling schedule needed to survive my college degree, while maintaining national level fitness in the sport of triathlon, have come back to remind me, that the disciplines that must be in place, to be a champion.
Knowing my passion and drive, I have learned that I must come under the tight rein of the Holy Spirit, desperate for His presence, His voice, His leading, or the self imposed disciplines I would apply to myself, would bury me.
Yet, when we determine to settle for nothing other than the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, without compromise, and hunger for truth, and power with God, seems about every human relationship feels the test of the call.
In the natural, I have given it all. There is no financial seed left to give…in order to merely live each day, Jesus HAS to provide, there is no plan B.
And day by day, challenge by challenge, He has proved Himself faithful.
Has it been brutal? Yes!
Has it been rewarding?
To see the nations changed in prayer, the multitudes moved through my intercession, the experience the radical intimacy and fulfillment that only He can give, I must say, ‘YES!”.
Though I have nothing financially left, I get alone with Him, having stood upon His promises, and I look at the stars in the heavens…He made them!
He will reward this particular stand of faith, and He will not only restore everything I have given, and given up for Him, but will multiply it, and prosper me with not merely heavenly riches, but I will see wealth, and prosperity again, here, in the earth, in my life, supernaturally, by His hand.
To say I have been misunderstood, criticized, etc, would be an understatement, but I am consumed with One who totally satisfies, and I find myself loving people more and more, yes caring less and less whether they love back, or understand…
His voice, His presence, His Word come alive, are more than enough….
Certain things though, are only ‘as He wills..’
His timings, His gifts of the Holy Spirit, His appointments into public ministries, and His financial provisions and breakthroughs, we believe we receive them, and fight for them in faith, daily, yet, if the day ends, and it has not happened yet, then we roll the care of it over upon Him, and deliberately trust that He is faithful, that which He has spoken, that which we have believed we received, will surely come to pass.
In moments of weakness, I have heard Him say, ‘Are you still willing?’, and repeatedly, I have said, ‘Yes, Lord, strengthen, equip me to the responsibility before me, give me grace to survive the brutality of the savage unbelief, and contest of wills around me…;
Some days, I reread, Heb 5:7 Who in the days of his flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;
The brutality, the attempted tyranny of the ungodly expectations of people, who are not hearing, seeing, experiencing what is screaming inside of you…
I understand the heart of Paul, when he exclaimed…
Ac 26:19 Whereupon, O king Agrippa, I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision:
Hab 2:3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.
I am not a Calvinist, believing in the great sovereignty of God, like we are some fluff in the wind of the cosmos.
No, I am a son of my heavenly Father, and a man of faith, passion, authority, passionately standing upon His promises, that He must fulfill, for He cannot lie.
What does faith look like though, when each day, as you believe, that which you have prayed for most definitely does not come to pass? When it feels like the heavens are brass, and that our faith confessions seem to hit some kind of metal dome over our heads, unheard by God?
In our anguish of soul, comes the comforter, the great One in the earth, the breath and voice of God, and He brings words of encouragement, that nothing on this earth can compare to…
Simple words, like ‘Child, I love you, and I hear your heart, your quietest whispers in the night, and I am with you, and am bringing to pass that which you have believed, for did I not promise and commission these things to you?’
Simple comforts like: ‘You have done my perfect will today!”
These keep me going, like Joseph:
Ps 105:19 Until the time that his word came: the word of the LORD tried him.
There is a timing of a thing, and until that appointed time, I am aggressively reading, praying in tongues, after doing my faith confessions for the day, for I must keep my faith fed, strong, and I must fill my soul with good teaching, to grow, to press, to feed the raging hungers inside my heart!
Ps 17:3 Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.
I fight to keep my words right, for this is the way of perfection, holiness, and as I allow the Word to grow and work deeper and deeper in my heart, this becomes easier and easier, for as my deepest desires are changed, as He takes His knife to my fears, my filth, my stinking thinking, a practical purity emerges. I don’t have to rigidly watch my confessions as much, for out of my transformed heart, my mouth speaks, and good things come out…
Ps 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.
I trust in Him. He has spoken. I am sorely tried, but after it is all done, I shall be that vessal of honor described in the Word, purged, and fully fit for the Masters use…
Passionate love is worth the pursuit….
God is love….
‘Father, I know You, and I hear Your voice. May I not shrink back, or give up, but bring you great glory, in believing. Strengthen me to fully obey, without compromise or reservation, exactly what You have shown me. Comfort me daily, and equip me, for the responsibility of the call, in Your name I pray Lord Jesus.Amen’