Well, as I prepare my heart to minister on this important topic, I found this wonderful article that will act as the skeleton for my thoughts, because it is so well written:https://www.harvestfellowshipofchurches.org/hp_wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/OVERCOMING-OFFENSES-CRITICISM-AND-FALSE-ACCUSATIONS-Teacher-Copy.pdf
Lets look at this material together:
Biblical Examples of Offense:
Note: It does not say specifically in these passages that these persons were offended.
Many of the situations imply that they could have been offended.
1. Cain was offended that God accepted Abel’s sacrifice and not his (Genesis 4:1-
16). His response was anger that led to murder.
2. Abimelech was offended that Abraham lied to him about Sarah being his sister
when in reality she was his wife (Genesis 20). Through a dream, and because he
had the fear of the Lord, he confronted Abraham, but in the end he blessed him.
3. Joseph’s brothers were offended that their father seemed to favor him above
themselves (Genesis 37:4). Their jealousy turned to hatred that led to selling
Joseph to Egypt.
4. The children of Israel were offended with Moses on numerous occasions in the
wilderness because of unfulfilled expectations (Exodus 14:10-12). Their offense
led to chronic complaining.
5. Miriam and Aaron were offended by Moses wife and also questioned why God
spoke only through Moses (Numbers 12). Moses allowed God to deal with their
rebellion and interceded on their behalf when they faced the judgment of God.
6. King Saul was offended by the people’s praise of David (I Samuel 18:1-16).
Saul’s jealousy led him to seek ways to kill David. David did not seek to defend
himself or fight back in any way.
7. Job was offended by his “comforters.” He pours out his laments, but in the end he
acknowledges his faith in God (Job 19:25-27).
8. It would appear that Jeremiah was offended by God’s dealings with him
(Lamentations 3:1-20). However, in the end he recognized the faithfulness of
God (verses 21-27).
9. Jonah was offended that God had compassion on Nineveh (Jonah 3:10). Jonah
turned bitter toward God and became very angry and discouraged (Jonah 4).
10. Herodias was offended by the message of John the Baptist (Matthew 14:1-12).
Her offense led to hatred and revenge. John was beheaded at her request.
11. The Pharisees were constantly offended by the teachings of Jesus (Mark 7:1-13).
Their offense of Jesus led them to plot evil against him with the ultimate plan to
kill him. Jesus was not offended by their responses to His teachings and constant
threats. He kept speaking the truth.
12. The disciples were very offended (“indignant”) with James and John when they
requested to be seated on the right and left of Jesus in glory (Mark 10:35-45).
Jesus used the occasion as an opportunity to teach on humility, service, and
13. The temple guards and religious leaders were very offended because Peter and
John were teaching the people about the resurrection of Jesus (Acts 4). Peter and
John used this occasion to testify more about Jesus and call the church to prayer.
14. The Grecian Jews were offended because the widows were being overlooked by
the apostles (Acts 6:1-7). Rather than defend themselves, the apostles made a
specific plan of action that resolved the problem.
15. Barnabas was offended that Mark had deserted him and Paul on one of their
missionary trips (Acts 15:36-41). Because of deep feelings about this and a
“sharp disagreement,” they parted ways.
Here are some possible reasons for modern-day offense:
In the Church:
1. When a person is overlooked for a church position that they really thought
belonged to them.
2. When a person didn’t speak to them or seemed to ignore them in a setting that
ordinarily, there would be an exchange of conversation.
3. When a person receives an exhortation or correction that doesn’t seem fair. Or,
maybe it was needed, but it felt like it was given in an insensitive way. Maybe
the correction was needed and given in a sensitive way, but the flesh screams out
in rebellion against it.
4. When there was insensitive and unfair criticism made of someone’s actions.
5. When a person is discouraged and going through a trial and it seems like no one
notices. Or, if they do, they don’t seem to really care about their situation.
6. When a person has unfulfilled expectations: It could be felt that people should
give financial help, encouragement, assistance in some way, or a host of things.
7. When another person is recognized for their accomplishments and this person is
not even mentioned for what they thought was a greater work.
8. When a person is honored for their birthday or other important events and this
the person is not honored.
9. What are additional ways that persons are offended?
In the home/marriage
2. Unkind words
3. Unfulfilled expectations
4. Lack of respect or honor
5. What additional ways can a person offend at home or in a marriage?
Let me add a few:
a. Berating or nagging the other spouse
b. Allowing any area of flesh to dominate – gluttony, alcohol/drug use, lying, lack of household responsibilities, disagreement on parenting styles, prayerlessness to name a few.
I realize many like to listen so I put this on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMP3KdSxD_Y&t=2326s